This sounds so stupid even as I type the words on the keyboard. Yet it is exactly how I feel. For the whole of December and January I hardly wrote a thing about anything else but myself. I was so fed up with writing about technology that I felt burnt out. Spending hours writing things I didn’t really care about just because I had to. Or at least felt I had to. Yet my passion still exists, I like shiny new things what can I say. Spending the last 4 years, going to events and meeting some great people along the way.
So I started writing just about Apple — I live the Mac life, so I wrote about what I was actually interested in and that’s it. Pulled my blog back onto Wordpress, blew the dust off it, gave it a fresh lick of paint — and updated some plugins. Voila — I’m back and feeling great.
Yet as the views rolled in, surging up past 2,000 readers in the first few weeks of starting again I felt that feeling again. I had to publish things, write words just because I thought I had to.
At least this time knew that feeling as it grew, I knew what the issue was, I was fooling myself again. That nagging feeling that if I don’t push things out then I’m a failure. I’m just pretending to be a writer, in a world surrounded by people much better than I.
All this self perceived pressure doesn’t really exist. What is completely real though is the way I feel is actually quite common. The feeling that you are some kind of fraud and shouldn’t really be in the situation you are. Yup, perfectly normal.
They call it a syndrome, and I’m an imposter.