Fighting With Myself

I like to pretend I am often asked, but I’m not. I am seldom asked – but the fact remains that I am asked. Exactly how I do the things I do, how do I take part in podcasts, present a persona online and interact with people on a daily basis building a business. I enjoy the shocked faces from people when I reply, “I don’t really know”.

You might interact with me on a professional level, you might tweet at me online, or you might listen to one of my podcasts. Wherever it is that you interact with me, I am eternally grateful, but what you don’t see is the behind the scenes footage.

You might listen to the 3 hour podcast with an interesting guest, or hear me talk about Apple news on BYOD. What you don’t hear is the 45 minute pep talk I’ve had to give myself just to start that show. The excuses to run away and not bother doing anything, and the almost crippling imposter syndrome that I have.

I constantly have to battle with myself, not only because I’m actually an introvert, but because I fear the reaction to everything I do. I want to create, I want to produce and I want to do more, but much of the time my mind just wont let me.

I get the impression I am not alone, but thankfully I am pretty good at talking to myself, and getting over the feelings of dread. It doesn’t stop everything that I do any more, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect me. My love of creating out-ways my constant self doubt. I have a motivation for life and doing things that make me happy, and I hope others find this themselves.

You see this is not a cry for help, more a motivational call to say that others feel the same. Be kinder to yourself my friends.