A Quick Check In

I wrote about deactivating my account on this weeks newsletter sent out on Thursday. It is something I need to do, if only to prove to myself I can. Without going in to too much detail I just want to break the habit of scrolling through it all the time — read the newsletter for more words on it. Anyway I digress.

I decided to log in today, not because I opened it in habit, but because I needed to contact someone and had forgotten their number. I discovered that all of my followers have gone, and all of the people i was following have also been removed — which was a surprise but gave me a perfect moment of clarity.

There seems little point carrying on with Twitter now. I can’t really be bothered to put in any work following people again and curating my account. My first thought was that this may give me the ‘fresh start’ I wanted, but once I checked in on a few people I quickly realised I would simply end up following the same people as before and nothing much has changed.

The same topics are going around, the same poor quality trending topics are still trending, and generally I felt absolutely nothing. I wondered if this was doing the right thing logging back in again, but turns out it has actually put me off even more. I havn’t missed out on anything, the real people that I have found have reached out or not bothered. The news that I once loved to follow flows almost straight on to blogs etc so the RSS feeds I follow surface everything I need.

I feel a little bit as if I am standing in the corner of a party refusing to talk to people like some unsociable idiot but checking in actually helped me frame things in my mind better. Where as I always thought I would go back and join in in some way, now I do not see myself returning. I changed my imagery and deleted all of my tweets to really signify this intention.

I want my page to be there for a while. With the sight realisation I may be speaking to soon, I don’t see my self going back. If I decide to one day then it will be because I really want to start again and at the moment there is no value in that.